Sara was sitting in her bedroom alone, her face buried in her hands. She was searching for the moment in her life where she had a choice of letting all these things happen to her.
Was it when she left the door open that her life had taken that deathly turn ? The expression "I did not sign up for this" crossed her mind.
- Hey, she heard Michael open the door.
She quickly wiped away any trace of tears, trying to hide from Michael that she had been crying.
- Hey, she said, how's it going with Lan... Kellerman ?
- Hum, he said sitting next to her, well not too bad,
Lincoln doesn't really like his new roommate but...
Sara didn't know if it was humor but she really didn't feel like laughing.
- You know the second we don't need him anymore we...
- Dump him, I know, she said wondering if Michael really thought it made her feel better.
All these hours in that hotel room with Kellerman, Sara kept imagining Michael saving her, and in her mind, if he had saved her, he sure as hell wouldn't have been to work with her torturer a few days later.
Michael could feel loud and clear that he wasn't making her feel any better. He would have wanted to be able to show her how much he wanted to kill that bastard, unfortunately he couldn't, not just yet, not while they still needed him.
- Could you just... Sara said her voice soft and kind, I just need to be alone right now.
Her voice slightly broke on her last word. Michael couldn't ease the pain, nothing could.
She had trusted the wrong person, again, a man whom she trusted, who was kind to her. Before he abducted her and tortured her. A chill ran over her body when she thought of that day.
- Sure, Michael said.
He couldn't help her, he knew it, he did... or was he just afraid to try ?
As he walked away, Sara couldn't help wondering if Michael was going to resent her for that one day. She wondered if he will see that she's too broken to fix, get scared and leave, he'll say "I tried to help you, but you didn't want my help", that will be his excuse when he'll really think "I'm sorry it happened to you, but I just can't deal with you right now".
She felt a knot form in her stomach, she wanted to cry but she held her tears back so long earlier that it was now impossible.
She moved her feet on the bed and leaned against the wall before folding her legs and wrapping her arms around her knees. She felt like a child, she had never felt so helpless in her life.
She kept remembering that man forcing her head inside the bathtub while holding an iron next to her, making painful spasms running through all of her body, than that same man wiping the water and tears of her face, so gently that it could have looked like he cared... if he hadn't been torturing her all day. But the worse wasn't the pain, the worse was the fear, the fear of being totally powerless each time she heard that man's footstep in the bedroom getting closer, and each time she saw the doorknob turn... she felt sick, nauseous, she wanted to disappear, she was almost starting to wish she was never born at all.
After he realized she wasn't going to talk, she remembered him moving her to the bedroom, where a fire burned in the chimney, then she remembered the fear that overwhelmed her when she saw him put the blade of a knife and left it here, he waited next to her until the blade was red orange, than put on a glove that'll prevent him to burn, than he took the knife...
Sara remembered feeling like she was going to pass out as he slowly whispered "I'm sorry Sara".
She closed her eyes, not wanting for one second to relive the moment where the knife cut through the skin of her back, her flesh cauterizing itself by the warmth of the blade.
Sara got up so quickly it made her head spin, but she wasn't going to just stand there, powerless to her fate again.
She grabbed her jacket and, without telling a soul, left the motel room.
She walked around, looking for a bar, she knew she would hate herself but it didn't matter to her right now, she finally spotted one, she walked toward it without thinking twice but couldn't help notice, "Mystic Grill", what a strange name for a bar...
Sara walked in the bar, sit and ordered an orange juice. She knew that it wouldn't be able to make her forget but it'll do for now.
- Thank you, she said when the waiter gave her the drink.
He had blond hair and blue eyes, he looked very young, under eighteen.
- Hey, hum... the young waiter said probably noticing she wasn't feeling good, I know it's none of my business, but, you' alright ?
- Ecstatic, she said without even bother to sound credible.
- Alright then, he said as he walked away.
He didn't look like he bought it but he probably didn't wanna bother me, she thought. Or he doesn't care, nobody cares, if Michael doesn't care than that teenage waiter obviously doesn't care either. Cause of all people, Sara thought Michael would be the one to care, that he would be the one to do everything he could to keep her away from that creep and not lead her right into his hands, but Michael doesn't care about Kellerman, she thought, he doesn't care about me, all he cares about is his brother as always !
Deep down, Sara knew it wasn't fair to think like that, but Michael had done nothing to prove her wrong.
- Hey hum... she said to the young waiter who was passing by, could you get me tequila to go with that orange juice ?
- Hum... he said, sure.
It took a few minutes before he was back with her drink.
- Thanks, she said, you can leave the bottle.
Sara poured herself a full shooter. Than stared at it, the easiest would be not to think about what she was doing, not to think about the years of recovery it took her when she quit... though all it took for her to dive back in was Michael Scofield.
She drank the shooter in only one sip.
- Hey look, the young waiter said though she had not realized he was still here, we kind of do waiter/shrink in here, so, if you wanna talk...
She tried to smile.
- You seem nice, the young woman said.
- And you seem lost, he said with a nervous laugh, hum, I'm Matt.
It took her only half a second to realize that she should lie and a full second to think of a name.
- Roseanne, she said taking her mother's name.
- It's a lovely name, he said.
- Yeah, she said pouring another drink, yeah it is.
- Maybe you should talk to her, Lincoln suggested.
- I tried, she doesn't wanna talk, Michael answered.
A mocking laugh escaped Paul Kellerman.
- You have a problem ? Michael said to him hoping he'll give him a reason to break his face.
- Nope, Paul answered, I’m just wondering if you’re either a sick of her already or just stupid.
Michael made a move toward him but Lincoln's strong arm stopped him.
- Your brother's right Michael, Paul said annoying the young man even more, you can't kill me, you need me and you know it.
- Nobody's indispensable, Michael said smiling to what this sentence implied.
- Alright, Paul said as if he was talking to a child, I apologize, I shouldn't have said you were stupid, I don't think you are. Well, except to when it comes to women apparently. I just think you and Sara should...
- Don't even mention her name ! Michael yelled and Lincoln had to use both of his arms to keep his younger brother to jump on him.
Paul shook his head, idiots, he thought, Michael looked like a regular teenager in love, ain't that sweet ? Paul hated Michael Scofield, fighting with him made them look like two bloody teenagers fighting over the same girl.
- Calm down Mike, Lincoln said to his brother, he isn't worth it, Sara wouldn't want you to kill him.
A chill ran over Michael's body at the mention of his love, he couldn't even imagine Sara seeing him as a murderer.
- Yeah, Michael said, about Sara, would you go check on her Linc ?
- And leave you two alone ? Lincoln said.
- If you want I can check on her, Paul to taunt the younger brother.
Michael's fist closed immediately, how he would have loved to put that same fist in Kellerman's nose to get this provoking smirk off his face.
- We'll be fine don't worry, Michael said.
Lincoln hesitated, but obeyed anyway.
- So, Kellerman said once the two were alone, 's that the moment where you say "the hell with it" and kill me anyway ?
- Oh I wish, Michael said despising him with his gaze.
- Would it help if I told her I was sorry ? Paul sighed.
- You're not to go near her ever again, Michael objected.
- Than if I apologize to you ? Would that help ?
Michael had a joyless laugh.
- Not even if you meant it, he finally said.
Paul didn't add another word, he really was sorry, he did care about Sara and he never meant for her to be involve in all this, it was Scofield who involved her, yet it was him Scofield was mad at, he hated him for hurting his precious Sara though he was the reason why he had to hurt her. "Make your mind", he couldn't help mumbling.
- What's that ? Michael said.
But Paul didn't have the time to answer before Lincoln crashed in the room.
Michael's brother was panting as he shook his head before Lincoln said three words that made Michael's blood turn cold.
- She's gone Mike.
Just wrote this for fun, it's my first fic so don't be too harsh, lot's of crossovers with my favorite shows too
Author's Chapter Notes:
Enjoy and comment, always appreciate review, even if you just say it sucks, lol